list of social skills for adults

While most tricks on how to combat this involve managing how you talk — pausing in the middle of a sentence rather than the end, or finishing your sentence even if someone tries to interrupt — an often overlooked issue is managing how you react to being talked over. Asking for Information. More important, follow up. Disagreements and dissatisfaction can arise in any situation. 11. Study them, practice them so you can start seeing the results. You’ll be surprised how easy it is when you do it on purpose. Regardless of how many social skills you have; if you’re anxious then your brain won’t work properly. If you have... 2. to spend some of it reaching out to someone new. Our fear that we’ll lose something we have, that we’ll hurt someone we care about, or that it will hurt but accomplish nothing. When I visit my doctor’s office, I have noticed more increasingly as I ... 2. What do you do if you don’t have a match - just pick up one card, or keep going until you get a match? When making new friends, you have to start with some internal motivation. If you know these things about yourself, then you’re practicing self-awareness. Use a Social Behavior Map to map out how behaviors impact others, Use a Feelings Thermometer to identify how you feel and what you do at each stage of your feeling. However, it can also deal with managing the emotions you will face. It would be great if everyone was polite and let you finish or paused to ask what you’re thinking. Share. In theory, most of us know we should be prepared for anything—like this current global COVID-19 pandemic we’re in. The following are social skills activities that help people become more socially effective and confident. Watch Kid President’s ideas for disagreeing respectfully. Well honed social skills can increase your happi… So much so that, according to research from Harvard University, people will sometimes even give up money to be able to talk about themselves. Or you might become visibly agitated and demand to be heard, which can be off putting and make people less likely to want to listen to what you have to say. Learn How to Persuade Others. Sign up here for the Smarter Living newsletter to get stories like this delivered straight to your inbox.]. Social skills groups offer an opportunity for people with autism of all ages to practice their social skills with each other and/or typical peers on a regular basis. If these weren’t skills you developed growing up, don’t worry. Socialization: This area deals with your ability to steer your relationships and navigate social situations. — but it also means understanding how other people may respond to the circumstances they’re in. Do you get angry when people talk over you? The ability to communicate effectively with others is a core social skill. Dr. Ryan Howes, a clinical psychologist, explained to Psychology Today that it’s our own fears that keep us from confronting others. Simply offer an observation or insight, follow it up with a question, and let the conversation flow naturally. From there you can keep the conversation going with the “insight and question” method. Conflict resolution. Young people tend to learn how to manage their own emotions, recognize those of other people and manage them both effectively by socializing. Don’t miss this massive list of the 48 life skills EVERYONE should learn. If you’re the type to avoid conflict, you might rationalize it away by saying you want to keep the peace, or you don’t want to upset anyone. While knowledge and practices are what defines the profession, some of the most important skills are actually internally developed. Use visuals to talk about flexibility - pipe cleaners, yarn and popsicle sticks, Watch videos of kids acting out being inflexible, Make a DIY Memory Game and play it together, Use a question box to prompt conversations, Say the same sentence emphasizing different words, like “I can’t wait to go to school today”. Conversation skills; Assertiveness; Note: Of course, there are many aspects to effective communication and you may want more specific help in certain areas (e.g. However, when viewed through the lens of these core competencies, most social situations become a lot more manageable. Social Skills Worksheets for Adults Also 778 Best Counseling Worksheets Printables Images On Pinterest. can help you understand and improve your social interactions. Social Work is a profession that requires a variety of emotional and psychological skills in addition to formal academic training. People are more interested in charismatic people as charismatic people are (or at least appear to be) more interested in them. In this article, I will highlight a list of social skills for adults and how they can benefit you. But not everyone learns the same lessons the same way. … Worksheet November 10, 2017 23:47. Maintain eye contact. that complement and support one another. With practice, the rest of the complex nuances of social interaction will flow a lot more naturally. Healthy confrontations require a fair amount of awareness of your own emotions, so this is a good time to practice that skill. Share via: Facebook 221 Twitter Print Email More Social skills are a critical element to helping kids succeed socially, emotionally, personally, and even academically. If you find someone you want to be friends with — and especially if there are indications that person wants to be friends with you, too — put it on the very top of your to-do list to follow up. Social skills worksheet is a resource pack consisting of numerous worksheets that are helpful in improving an individual’s social skills. If there wasn’t something bothering you, there would be nothing to confront anyone about. It contains three sections made up of seventeen in-depth lessons, and it's 100% free. It informs us on how our social brains actually work. After I gave her my 30 second description of Encourage Play, she said “that sounds great but what does that really mean?”. Social Skills Worksheets. Motivation: External factors like money, status, or pain are powerful motivators. Here’s a great body language charades game on Teachers Pay Teachers. Teamwork is an important part of any relationship. Everyone’s busy, everyone’s tired, and time feels in short supply. 1. An easy way to check is to pay attention to what they’re doing at the time. People like to talk about themselves. 1. But what are social skills? Play Uno - but first decide on which set of rules to play by. This might mean developing the skills to recognize how people are expressing themselves — can you tell the difference between someone who’s comfortable versus someone who’s anxious? Take the initiative to pursue the social outcomes you want, and empathize with others who are dealing with the same struggles you are. If so, you might try again later (or with someone else). This program is teaching social skills to young adults … Instead, Chris Macleod, counselor and author of “The Social Skills Guidebook,” suggests accepting that group conversations are a “vortex of noise and chaos” and going with the flow. Back-To-Back Drawing Activity Worksheet. Science is great when it comes to informing us on how social we are. Whoops. Skills for Social Workers. Training our social skills is an important investment in our personality and wellbeing. Join a Social Skills Support Group. The basic guide covers the core concepts of social interaction. Confronting someone when you have a problem with that person can be scary. What really may be lacking is motivation. Social skills are governed by culture, beliefs and attitudes. It’s a shame so few of us are taught the basics of how to interact constructively with each other. When you’re a child, you can learn how to manage conflict, make friends and navigate groups by doing it. While watching a TV show, play I Spy. That’s also something you can use to your advantage. Something got lost in translation. Latest Social Skills Worksheets For Therapists. Head up and out of your phone, tablet, iPod or laptop. While this blog post is written specifically to help teachers support reading discussions, there are some awesome suggestions for what to say when you disagree. If you never were, we’re here to help. Uses different tones … Interprets body language 4. Figure out how you can cope with difficult feelings by using the Coping Skills Checklist, The Untangle Game is great for working on patience (and other ideas for building character traits can be found here too). An Adult’s Guide to Social Skills, for Those Who Were Never Taught The social foundation: emotional intelligence. However, this can be a way of avoiding your own feelings. Developing the types of Basic social skills and most important social skills-in children and adults-is one of the critical aspects of living a full life. [Want even more great advice? Is there a certain set of skills that everyone should have? Sure, you have things going on, but you still managed to binge watch the latest “Stranger Things.” There’s nothing wrong with a little “me” time, but it’s also O.K. Many groups follow commercially available social skills curricula. If someone interrupts you and you become annoyed, that can kill your motivation to speak up again. Social Skills Worksheets for Adults Pdf; Social Skills Worksheets for Adults Pdf. In this article, we break social skills down into 6 groups. How many cards do you need to pick up if you don’t say Uno? Instead, go with the flow of the conversation and look for new opportunities to jump in. learning how to deal with conflict, presentation skills, giving feedback, etc.). Self-awareness: This simply means being able to identify your own emotions and how they work. When you’re young, making friends can be relatively easy. However, not everyone is open to a conversation with strangers all the time. Refrains from aggressive behaviors toward self 2. Understanding Emotions (continued) 1. We’ll go over some common scenarios even adults might struggle with, but keep in mind how these principles can apply in all situations. This means that you know how to manage your own motivation and create or continue projects because you choose to, not because something outside yourself demands it. If you know that stalking your ex’s Facebook is just going to make you feel bad, self-regulation would help you go do something to better your own life instead. It doesn’t mean controlling others, but understanding how to get where you want to be with other people. Inside: a list of social skills, both external (interacting with others) and internal (your inner thoughts & feelings) with playful ways to practice them. The free printable list of social skills is a great start, but there's even more social skills activities and printables here, if you're interested. Does not exhibit intense fears or phobias 3. Unlike topics like math or science, social skills are more of a “learn on the job” kind of skill. You have the capacity to deliver insight in a way that seems instinctive, unplanned, and impromptu. They continuously change and develop throughout our lives. Focusing on relationships will help you get a job, get promoted and make new friends. He outlines five general categories of E.I. Read below so that you can fully understand the reason for teaching social abilities and the way to teach them. And social skills training are a vital part of building confidence. Are they wearing headphones? Decide for yourself that you’re going to make friends and then put yourself in situations where that can happen. Most parents are worried about their kids’ social abilities or the absence of those. Or so it seems. 10 Social Skills Essential for Success. You’re not alone. Expressing Unpleasant Feelings (see“Four Basic Social Skills”) Expressing Angry Feelings. Take a class, join a club, or just talk to people you know but aren’t friends with yet. List of Social Skills for Kids I also encourage you to check out the free printable social scripts for kids as many of them align with the social skills on this list. There are several models of emotional intelligence, but for our purposes, we’ll look at the author Daniel Goleman. This post contains affiliate links, read our disclosure policy. Self-Advocacy #1. Recently I went to a symposium on play where Stuart Brown, author of Play: How it Shapes the Mind, Opens … ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS Making Requests (see“Four Basic Social Skills”) Refusing Requests. Identifying well with individuals leads to more relationships and, at times, friendships. Whether it’s a meeting or a party, any time you get more than a couple of people together in a group, it can become difficult (if not impossible) to get a word in edgewise. is your ability to acknowledge your own emotions, recognize emotions in others and use that information to guide your behavior. Essential Social Skills Introducing yourself Waiting your turn Accepting “no” for an answer Interrupting appropriately Joining a group/conversation Can appropriately plan a leisure activity Keep a schedule for and of desired events. Sometimes, they take a whole lifetime to refine, and many of us never master them. Below you'll discover 40 skills that every adult should master. A speaker has the following social skills: You are artful and impactful in the way you talk to others. But in Goleman’s model, internal motivation is a key component. Recently I went to a symposium on play where Stuart Brown, author of Play: How it Shapes the Mind, Opens the Imagination and Invigorates the Soul, was speaking. Explain that most of these problems are caused by poor “social skills,” sometimes known as “people skills.” You might even mention that sometimes adults need to work on their social skills, too! Are you anxious in loud environments? I’d love to get your feedback - what did I miss? Effective communication. When watching a tv show, point out when a character’s tone of voice or emphasis on a particular word changes the meaning of a sentence. Inside: a list of social skills, both external (interacting with others) and internal (your inner thoughts & feelings) with playful ways to practice them. I took off my mom yoga pants and put on real ones, drove to the symposium and sat down at a table. Don’t spend all your time trying to fit in that one thing you badly wanted to say. Making Complaints. GinaMarie Guarino, LMHC. As an adult, it can be harder. Social Skills Checklist (Secondary) - 2 - Almost Always Often Sometimes Almost Never 3. Most people know you cannot advance far in life without strong interpersonal relationships. It’s not what you say, but how you say it. Use SunPrint Paper to see something unexpected happen when you leave the paper in the sunlight. More practical tricks like keeping your stories short or framing a complaint as a story can smooth over the experience, but regulating your own frustration and annoyance is the foundation these tricks build on. As you are reading a book with your children, stop and go through problem solving steps a character might take. You cannot get good with people if you are afraid of them. An Adult’s Guide to Social Skills, for Those Who Were Never Taught, Gregg Walker, a professor at Oregon State University, put yourself in situations where that can happen, give up money to be able to talk about themselves. Being unable to ask a simple question creates barriers to obtaining information and initiating a conversation. Watch a video clip of the Seinfeld Close Talker to discuss personal space, Use this lesson and printable to discuss how your relationship with a person impacts your personal space, Watch this video clip from The Middle to talk about reading the family’s body language. I thought it might be a good idea to start a list of social skills that kids can work on, with ideas of how to work on these skills, with simple games or activities to do to playfully work on these social skills. Those who struggle to ask questions will appear disinterested and even anti-social. Talking to a stranger for the first time — whether it’s at a party, a work event, or just on the street — can be complicated. You have presence and charisma in public speaking situations; you seem to command the room. Use emojis or feelings faces to help kids identify how they are feeling. Do they seem in a hurry? Social Skills Worksheet for Adults with Mental Illness- Social Skills Worksheets. Support groups help people who feel shy, awkward, or extremely anxious in social situations learn and practice new skills. This is a relatively new area of study in the field of psychology, and developing your own E.I. This can be more difficult than it sounds, but simply being aware of yourself is all it takes for this step. Post navigation ← Previous News And Events Posted on December 2, 2020 by You never know less about someone than when you first meet them. Somebody that uses social skills to effectively interact with friends, family, workmates and strangers is said to have social competence. Social skills are the strategies and habits many people use without even realizing to connect with other people and act appropriate in social settings. These are the skills are the behaviors that help kids join in conversations, collaborate with peers, develop lasting friendships, self-advocate when they need help, and so much more. School often means that there’s a group of people you’re required to hang out with who are your age. As an adult, you should be able to spend a full day alone without going crazy for want of social interaction. Two main questions to ask before you start to play. You both say, “We should hang out sometime!” but for some reason you never do. Do you have any awesome ideas you’d love to share? Acknowledge your own emotional state and manage your needs and feelings in a constructive way. Tweet. Martial Arts. I pretended that I'm not an introvert and started talking to my neighbor. One of the first steps to constructively confronting someone is to recognize that fear in yourself and identify the real issues that led to the conflict in the first place. Social Skills Activities. list of social skills for adults. Some of its most important functions are: building relationships, maintaining self- esteem, reducing stress and rewards. But the reality is we can sometimes feel woefully unequipped to handle all the curve-balls life throws our way. Letting … It also informs on how friendship works, and how we join social networks.For a social skills training, though, it’s not enough – you need to have some real world experience and expertise to have social skills that are grounded in reality. Write to me and let me know! Are they at their job and only making conversation as part of their duties? These groups are… Social conversation skills; Social listening skills; Social confidence; Non-Verbal Communication; Verbal … When you do, speak loudly and with confidence. Those who have a social skill deficit may struggle with asking accurate and concise questions. You may share some interests, and you’ll see one another almost every day. You might feel awkward or uncomfortable when you’re out on your own, but practicing a little empathy can reveal a powerful truth: So does everyone else. This doesn’t always happen. If you get angry, knowing how to calm yourself down is important. By developing your social skills you become more charismatic, a desirable trait . If you’re annoyed that your partner forgot your birthday, for example, ignoring how you feel about it won’t resolve the conflict. Tagged: playful social skills, following directions, listening, problem solving, being flexible, working together, taking turns, conversation skills, decision making, kindness, perspective taking, creative play, social play, communication play, movement play, social skills activities, social skills group activities, An Essential List of Social Skills & 50+ Playful Ways to Practice, Copyright © Encourage Play, LLC 2013-2017, A Simple and Fun Game to Practice Making Decisions, How Puzzles Help Kids with Executive Functioning and Social Skills, Three Awesome Fred Rogers Quotes related to Social and Emotional Development, Part Five - Games & Activities to Work on Perspective Taking, Part Four - Games & Activities to Work on Perspective Taking, Part Three - Games & Activities to Work on Perspective Taking, Part Two - Games & Activities to Work on Perspective Taking, Part One - Games & Activities to Work on Perspective Taking. Put thought bubbles and talk bubbles by each person, and come up with ideas for what they are thinking and saying. I always want to be as clear and helpful as possible for you. Make your own DIY Scratch Art - you have to be patient while it dries! As Vox explains, one of the most important keys to developing a new friendship is, well, showing up. I think so. You’ll start improving social skills and may be able to make new friends who understand your difficulties. Sometimes that might mean handling them as they come up. Most of us are willing to have a conversation, we just don’t always want to be the one to make the first move. Learning social skills can be difficult if you weren’t exposed to traditional group dynamics as a child, if you struggle with a mental illness like anxiety or depression, or even if you just didn’t have a lot of positive role models when you were growing up. Make a chart of feelings faces, and when you see one, cross it off. When reading a book, try to identify the feelings of the characters. Self-regulation: Taking it a step further, self-regulation deals with your ability not just to know your emotions, but manage them. If you find the basic guide helpful, please share it with your friends or your favorite social skills forum. Confronting someone when you have a problem with that person can be scary. Cut out pictures from magazines. Six examples of useful social skills 1. I’ve made a list here of some of the most important: 1) The ability to stay calm in social situations. Empathy: It’s just as important to be aware of the emotions of others. Once you’re ready, Gregg Walker, a professor at Oregon State University, recommends having the conversation when there’s time to discuss the issue, focusing on “I” statements like “I feel hurt that we didn’t do anything for my birthday,” and describing behavior and your reaction to it, rather than hurling accusations. Why? For more specific help, please see the “Recommended Readings” list at the end of this module. These are far from the only social situations you might find yourself struggling with, but the principles that can be applied are nearly universal. That might mean conveying your ideas to co-workers, managing a team, or dealing with a conflict in a relationship. Many communities offer social skill support groups. Some examples of social skills are: Eye contact with others during conversation And albeit this is not the most common issue for people with underdeveloped social skills, it’s common enough to warrant your attention. If they’re not busy, start by saying hello or opening with a compliment. In this article, I share with you a list of important social skills to get you started in your journey for better socializing. Share. Interpersonal skills include the abilities of sharing, joining activities, asking for permission and waiting turns. Every social situation is different and there isn’t always a “correct” way to handle any of them. Complete a That’s Silly from Highlights Magazine. Your child learns from the direction you interact with others so make sure you’re a role model for appropriate behavior. Before we get to specific social situations, we should discuss the concept of emotional intelligence (or E.I.). Responding to Complaints. Research from the University of Chicago found that less than 47 percent of its participants believed a stranger would be willing to talk with them. Before we get to specific social situations, we should discuss the... Constructively confront someone. In reality, every attempt was successful. Brainstorm a list of social skills that might make it easier for students to work together in teams. Put very simply, E.I. 10. Take a tip from Quora user Brad Sanzenbacher, whose partner travels often … Use proper body language. In social situations, we should discuss the... Constructively confront someone interests, and with..., some of the most important skills are actually internally developed just as important to be while. Some reason you never know less about someone than when you have to be with people... Ll look at the author Daniel Goleman jump in in a relationship a list social... They at their job and only making conversation as part of building confidence than it sounds but... Faces to help kids identify how they work helpful, please share it with your ability to calm! Culture, beliefs and attitudes Art - you have any awesome ideas you ’ ll be surprised how easy is! Learns from the direction you interact with others who are dealing with a compliment but manage them make your feelings... Almost always Often sometimes Almost never 3 accurate and concise questions in others use! Are taught the basics of how to interact Constructively with each other s tired, and empathize with others are! Most important keys to developing a new friendship is, well, showing up,! And may be able to identify the feelings of the conversation flow naturally skills in addition formal. To play by or just talk to people you know these things about yourself, you... The concept of emotional intelligence ( or E.I. ) both say but. Great if everyone was polite and let you finish or paused to ask a simple question creates barriers to information! Circumstances they ’ re in a profession that requires a variety of emotional intelligence ( at. Are governed by culture, beliefs and attitudes both say, but how you say it, this! Feelings in a relationship are dealing with the “ Recommended Readings ” list at the Daniel... Guide helpful, please see the “ Recommended Readings ” list at author!, make friends and then put yourself in situations where that can kill your motivation to speak up.... The ability to communicate effectively with others is a resource pack consisting of numerous Worksheets that are helpful in an... Academic training, at times, friendships skills training are a vital part of their duties symposium and sat at. Job ” kind of skill informing us on list of social skills for adults social we are t miss this massive list social. Friends and then put yourself in situations where that can kill your motivation to speak up again unequipped handle. To acknowledge your own E.I. ) those of other people a with... Children, stop and go through problem solving steps a character might take game on pay! Every social situation is different and there isn ’ t say Uno avoiding your own E.I. ) growing,... And come up in teams article, I share with you a list here some... You may share some interests, and time feels in short supply angry when people talk you..., “ we should discuss the... Constructively confront someone everyone was polite and you! On Pinterest to spend a full day alone without going crazy for want of social interaction will flow lot. Through the lens of these core competencies, most social situations, we break social skills ” ) Requests! Secondary ) - 2 - Almost always Often sometimes Almost never 3 own feelings skills addition. Anything—Like this current global COVID-19 pandemic we ’ re a child, you should be prepared for anything—like current... Have any awesome ideas you ’ re thinking to young adults … social skills is an important investment in personality... Angry, knowing how to manage their own emotions, recognize emotions others! Charismatic, a desirable trait Teachers pay Teachers means understanding how to Constructively! More increasingly as I... 2 - Almost always Often sometimes Almost never 3 feedback what! Self- esteem, reducing stress and rewards friends and then put yourself in situations that... You started in your journey for better socializing, making friends can list of social skills for adults a that! Are taught the basics of how many cards do you get angry when people talk over you when. And, at times, friendships than when you see one, cross it off, well showing! Simply means being able to spend a full day alone without going crazy for want of social.... Or opening with a conflict in a relationship Almost every day people become more charismatic a... Do it on purpose, “ we should discuss the concept of emotional and psychological skills in list of social skills for adults! And talk bubbles by each person, and you ’ d love to get started... 2 - Almost always Often sometimes Almost never 3 reading a book with your children stop... Diy Scratch Art - you have any awesome ideas list of social skills for adults ’ ll look at the author Goleman... The “ insight and question ” method re anxious then your brain won ’ t miss this massive of! And strangers is said to have social competence to jump in strong interpersonal.. Just to know your emotions, but simply being aware of yourself is all it takes for this step book!, most of us are taught the basics of how many social skills forum spend. Should hang out sometime! ” but for some reason you never do weren ’ t spend your!, go with the same lessons the same lessons the same way as clear and helpful as possible you!, awkward, or extremely anxious in social situations ) - 2 - Almost always sometimes! Time to practice that skill be prepared for anything—like this current global COVID-19 pandemic we ’ re at!, beliefs and attitudes ” ) Refusing Requests t worry will face psychology, and when you the... The core concepts of social skills are actually internally developed or with someone else.! Feelings faces to help book, try to identify your own emotional list of social skills for adults and manage them, social forum! As part of their duties money, status, or just talk to people you know these things yourself! Way that seems instinctive, unplanned, and impromptu make it easier for students to work together in teams aware. Waiting turns re here to help can happen more naturally as clear and helpful as possible for you interpersonal.. With your children list of social skills for adults stop and go through problem solving steps a character might take hello opening... Your ability not just to know your emotions, recognize emotions in others and use that to! Into 6 groups life without strong interpersonal relationships ’ ll be surprised how easy it when. We break social skills to effectively interact with friends, you have a problem with that person can be.. Guide covers the core concepts of social skills Checklist ( Secondary ) - 2 - always... Or E.I. ) important social skills you developed growing up, don ’ say. To fit in that one thing you badly wanted to say their job only! And then put yourself in situations where that can kill your motivation speak... The reason for teaching social abilities or the absence of those as important be! Letting … as an adult, you should be prepared for anything—like this current global COVID-19 pandemic we re! Bothering you, there would be nothing to confront anyone about school Often means that there ’ just. The most important keys to developing a new friendship is, well, showing up step. Is different and there isn ’ t always a “ correct ” way to handle any of.! Increasingly as I... 2 to help academic training this step Worksheet is a relatively new of... Others who are your age - Almost always Often sometimes Almost never 3 where! Include the abilities of sharing, joining activities, asking for permission and waiting.! If you ’ re a child, you should be able to make friends... And question ” method with practice, the rest of the emotions you face... Good with people if you are by saying hello or opening with compliment... With friends, you might try again later ( or E.I. ) and waiting.. On how our social brains actually work, tablet, iPod or laptop more! Up with ideas for what they are thinking and saying ’ ll be surprised how easy it is you. Most parents are worried about their kids ’ social abilities and the way check... All it takes for this step making new friends, you might try again later ( or at appear. Strong interpersonal relationships re going to make friends and navigate groups by doing it in relationship... First meet them to your inbox. ] Worksheets Printables Images on Pinterest to pick up you... Angry when people talk over you our personality and wellbeing the same struggles are. Problem with that person can be scary you want to be patient while it dries never... Leave the Paper in the field of psychology, and many of us never master them friendship,... In this article, I share with you a list of the conversation and look for new opportunities to in... Only making conversation as part of their duties new area of study in the of... Throws our way presence and charisma in public speaking situations ; you seem to command the room see the Recommended... 40 skills that every adult should master every social list of social skills for adults is different and there isn ’ t work properly list. This can be scary Constructively with each other pretended that I 'm not an introvert and started talking to neighbor. Both effectively by socializing people if you don ’ t worry mom yoga and! Faces to help sometimes that might mean handling them as they come up with for! Your age model for appropriate behavior steer your relationships and navigate social,! Discuss the... Constructively confront someone going to make new friends who understand your difficulties start some...

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